7 Simple Mistakes That’s Holding You Back From Dream Life
Have you ever wanted to live your dream life but struggle to get there? Does it feel like you’ll never get there?
It seems so easy to say, “Live your dream life” or “You don’t have it because you don’t want it”, but it’s not always that easy.
Sometimes there are things beneath the surface as to why achieving your dream life can be hard to attain.
I want to say first before I continue… you have everything you need to achieve your dream life, and I understand it won’t be a walk in a park, but it will be totally worth it.
Why? Because you are worth it!
Here are 7 Simple Mistakes That’s Holding You Back From Your Dream Life.
Assuming the Role
It’s easy to get caught up in the stereotypical of life.
You may assume that because someone is a cop they must be crooked or bad, or all tall people play or have played a sport.
Just like it’s a possibility it’s true doesn’t mean it’s factual.
I am a college student. I am in my late 20s but for some reason I had this mindset that because I am college student, I must live like a college student.
Why?
Because I assumed the role. I figured; it is normal so why not live like a college student?
There are several things wrong with that scenario. I am not of “college age”, I don’t like the life of a college student, and I’m aspired to live beyond the stereotype.
But, getting myself out of the mindset that I must be broke, living with family, develop God only knows how many loans, and break the bank is a delusion I don’t have to live by.
Neither do you!
It can be challenging in the beginning, but slowly shift how you see your life. It won’t look like the mold. And 9 times out of ten you don’t want the mold.
Challenge: Take out a pen and paper and write down your ideal lifestyle now. (This can be a list, journal prompt format, or visual representation ~ your life not someone’s else). What do you want to eat when you wake up, what movies do you want to watch, who are the people you want to talk or hang out with?
Neglecting Self
You are a human being just like those people you’re trying to impress, be like, nurture, etc.
You shouldn’t give others more than you are giving yourself. In theory, it sounds ok, but in practice it is exhausting.
I used to pour my all into others and would be disappointed when they did not reciprocate.
I thought if I gave them all of me, they would do the same. But the problem with that is not only was I not fulfilling my needs, or filling my cup, they weren’t satisfied with my effort because it did not suit their needs.
I felt like a hamster on a wheel that never got off or took care of my needs.
When you neglect yourself, a few things happen.
- You are sending messages to yourself and those around you about how worthy you are.
- You slowly hit a place of burnout or exhaustion. That eventually leads to illnesses, anxiety, depression, etc.
You don’t have to have a life that reflects these things.
Prioritize one thing today that will add to your cup of fulfillment.
Accepting Too Many Opinions
It can be distracting to listen to 5 different radio stations at once. The same thing goes for listening to too many opinions.
Everyone is going to have an opinion about what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
And though there is nothing wrong with hearing advice, there is a limit to how much and who you listen to.
Not everyone has your best interest in heart. This can be hard to listen to when you want to be accepted into the fold.
But here’s the thing, no one is going to accept you, before you do. And once you do, everyone’s opinions become outside noise.
How are you going to get to the life you want to live if you’re constantly listening to everyone and everything outside yourself.
Only you know your dreams and goals from the inside out. Not living it can be hurtful to your own life. It will be like, knocking a baby over, every time it tries to walk.
Whose life do you want to live, yours or theirs?
Focusing Energy on Something Else
Where the mind goes, your body follows, and vice versa.
Whatever you focus on is what will manifest in your life. If you’re focusing on debts, debts will continue to grow in your life. If you’re focusing on being healthy, healthiness will show up in your life.
Have you ever heard that saying “focus on the solution, not the problem?”
What you nurture is what will grow. If you nurture an apple tree, an apple tree will grow!
The same will go for if you nurture a weed plant, it will continue to grow and suck the nutrients from the plants you want to grow.
To redirect your energy into the things you want, weed out the things that are draining the nutrients from your efforts. This can look like anything that is not adding value to your life in a way that is leading you toward your goals. It can feel like a vampire sucking out everything you just put into your cup of fulfillment.
For example: You read a book about financing, but as soon as you leave to buy groceries, there’s a friend or place that always gets you to spend more than you wanted or intended on spending.
P.S. This is so much easier said than done…
But if there are people, places, or things that you need to weed out your life so that you can grow, take micro steps now to get you there using discernment (Quiet Judgment).
You do not have to stay where you feel unsettled!
Getting Complacent Where You Are
When something becomes familiar, it can be easy to settle where you are.
There is a difference between living in your comfort zone and living in your complacent zone. I’ve learned this after reading The Comfort Zone by Kristen Butler.
Living in your complacent zone is becoming comfortable with familiarity. In this phase, there is little to no growth. It becomes easier to do what everyone else is doing or worse, the same things over and over again.
Let’s take this into perspective like the apple tree.
If you do the same task over and over again like water the tree without inspecting to make sure your tree is healthy, you can risk overwatering the tree and inviting unwanted pest and problems along the way.
Just like with this tree, there will be times where you will need to reflect and adjust according to what’s going on around you.
Remember: You cannot control your surroundings, but how you respond can be controlled!
Are you becoming complacent with where you are?
These are a few examples of what complacency looks like…
- making excuses for why you “can’t” do something
- not going to that new coffee shop you want to try
- hiding out in the bathroom at events you want to shine at/in.
It’s making excuses to prevent growth. How are you going to achieve your goals if you are making excuses or settling where you are?
I would presume if you are reading this post, you want to achieve something more or greater than where you are. And if so, I would recommend you stick around. I have resources to help you get unstuck with being “ok” or complacent with life.
Not Believing In Yourself
It is not always easy to believe in yourself unconditionally. Especially when you don’t know how.
How you see yourself is formed by the environment you are or were in.
If you grew up with the giants around you (the adults) encouraging each other and embracing self-growth, self-love, and self-expression, you’re more likely to grow up peeking at the world through those lenses.
However, if you grew up with abuse, neglect, or self-harm it will be harder (not impossible) to see the world through the lens of knowing how to express and love yourself. It’s something you will have to learn, and that’s ok. We grow and learn together.
I didn’t grow up knowing how to take care of myself (practicing self-care) like I do now. I learned how through reading books/blogs/articles, watching videos, other people’s experiences, etc.
So, it’s ok if you don’t believe in yourself right now. Because you are about to learn how to. ☺️🤗 (5-simple-steps-to believe-in-yourself-today). It’s not your fault people say what they say to you. The fault becomes you when you accept it.
You are In The Wrong Environment
We are wired to want to be a part of a community, to be together with like-minded people. But what happens when you are in a community that is not for you?
You pick up habits, ideas, thoughts, etc. from the people you’re around. Your surroundings help shape your identity.
Let’s take a plant, when you buy a seedling from the store it’s in a starter pot. Right? (if you don’t know, go to the store, buy a seedling (starter plant) and follow the analogy)).
The instructions tell you to place it in a bigger plot after the plant begins to sprout (after germination). When the plant is removed, the soil is shaped into the shape of the pot. But what happens when you don’t replant it?
The plant struggles to grow any further, making it harder to accept nutrients, and eventually it dies.
The same goes for us, we are trying to stay in environments that was meant to be a starter point, yet we don’t exchange environments and wonder why we are not growing.
You grow as big and much as your environment allows. If you are in the environment that’s meant for you, your growth becomes insurmountable, but if you are in an environment that has limited resources like an apple tree in the dessert, you may not survive.
Take a moment and evaluate your environment. Are you flourishing where you are? (This does not mean money, friends, or even fame. Because all these things fluctuate). Because if not it may be hard to reach your dream life.
Your environment should make you feel internally fulfilled, happy, and ready to take on the world. This does not mean you will, but you feel like you can. Because this is what being in a good environment looks like.
You cannot control the conditions of ANY environment, but in some environments, you will flourish and in others you may not survive.
(Post Idea: The effects your environment have on your life, what a healthy environment looks like, and how to achieve the desired healthy environment for continuous growth).
Closing
As you can see, just doing it, or claiming blame where blame is thrown is not always the answer. Many times, there are things that blocking you that are not always above the surface.
It’s ok if you are not where you want to be, but are willing to get there?
This is your journey and many times the lack of reaching a goal is because you are neglecting yourself and focusing too much on the wrong things.
Grab a hold of the Dream Catcher Workbook free for a limited time. This workbook will help you to get unstuck where you are and begin to progress into the lifestyle you want to be in.
Turn down the noise of the external world and tune into the inner voice that is who you are to your core.
Until Next time, keep growing, embrace your now, and enjoy your journey!
LaTeicia H.
